Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
