am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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