True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize