I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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