She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
