Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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