the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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