mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
