I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
