But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
