I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
