First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
vagina is talking i cant
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
