You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Tell her she can't have a vagina
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
