I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
