bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You're like the curious george of whores
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
