so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize