what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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