You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
