honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
