Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
