maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
