So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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