butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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