I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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