i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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