I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
