her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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