ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
