I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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