so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
