Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again

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(949): View more from California

the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters

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(703): View more from Virginia

im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest

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(760): View more from California

Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).

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(256): View more from Alabama

I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.

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(727): View more from Florida

i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there

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