she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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