Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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