I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
