Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
