yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
