That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
