Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
