I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
