Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
