So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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