So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
