Me too!
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Randomize
