addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
