Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
