nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
