The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
