I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
