Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
