So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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