He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
We had to coat check the pizza.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize