State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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