I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Drunk is not a location!
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
