So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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