Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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