a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
