ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
